Hey hey!
I wanted to talk today about change. There are a lot of things that change in life. As example look back at 10 years from now, are you the same? No. Even if you just look back 2 years ago, you have changed. That can be in a good way or in a bad way. That's something you have to look in to. I've changed, a lot! I am more open as a person which I love, I'm trying to be less anxious which I feel like slowly but surely is working. I want to get out in the world again, do dumb but fun things again, make mistakes again! Things I wouldn't have thought of even just 1 years ago. Around the age of 14-18 I've been very anxious, that's where it kind of started, always thinking what could go wrong and blocking myself for doing stuff. Today, I'm still 18, I still feel like that any time I have to go out in the real world and in a world like this one right now it's hard to think that nothing is ever gonna happen, but the thing that is making me want to do more again is that as well! You don't know what is gonna happen and when, so I'm kind off thinking F**** IT! Do more! Be you! Enjoy life again. Not that I wasn't enjoying life and everything but I mean enjoy more with new people, get to know people and their story's! Learn. I love learning in any kind of way so that's something I want to do my whole life! Learn new things and do new things ect.

As I said I'm more open and I love it, with that I mean I'm open to meet new people and not that they have to come to me but I will go to them if I feel like it. I was a very VERY shy person when I was younger and even around new people that I meet through other people that I know, I honestly still am. So how am I still shy yet I dare to go talk to strangers? When I go up to a stranger I'm thinking this "this could be a really awkward moment that passes by slow but I'll never see this person again so it's cool" or "this could be the beginning of a new fresh friendship" and yeah I'm ready to take that risk and seeing which one it is. I used to find awkward moments really cringy but now I embrace it and I mean yeah it still makes me cringe but I don't mind it as much anymore.

Okay but what else is changing in my life? A couple of things that I enjoy doing so much right now that I kind of picked up again is first of all this blog! I love blogging I don't know why I took that break even though there aren't a lot of people reading this, I don't care! I do it for me and that's so important doing things because you want to because you have fun doing it. I love writing about things because I love it when people listen and when I was about 16 I started writing a book but I haven't been at it for a while and I missed writing but now I have this blog so I'm enjoying it so much. I don't know if I should write that book further or start a new one or just stop, haha. The second thing I picked back up is, my sister and I our youtube channel we took a long break of that as well but now we are back, had feedback that we are better and we are having so much fun doing it. Even editing, I love doing that as well! Another completely new thing I've been wanting to do for a while now, when this will get posted it will be going on for a week already and it's a new instagram! With pictures of people, nature, dogs, I hope it will be a bit of a success because I'm totally behind it. I was scared of starting it because I know I don't take the best pictures ever but I enjoy taking pictures so much and going out there and seeing what I can use. I know their are a lot of better people out there doing youtube, blogs and instagram stuff but I like doing it and in life someone will almost always "be better" but as long as you enjoy it with all your heart, who cares? If someone is trying to bring you down with that? Then they should take a look in the mirror.

Let me think about what else that has changed in my life. I've cut connection with a friend at the end of 2016. Was it hard? Yes. Why do it then? Because I feel like it was the best for me either way. Not because of the people telling me she doesn't "deserve" me because I didn't really feel that way but just because I feel like if I would've kept that friendship, I would always have something extra holding me back or down I don't know. Yes she was a good friend for me at times but our last "fight" really drew the line for me, because in my head, if I kept that friendship I would always end up feeling like shit. Also because of that I thought my own brother saw me like that as well but then I had a long dramatic talk with him. Thanks to that talk, even though I was being dramatic, I felt better. Happy, that he didn't see me as "less then" or "shit" I guess. I love my siblings and parents so much and I'm in a way so proud of where we are today, it might not be picture perfect but it's perfectly in-perfect for me, haha!
Something else I've changed or I mean am trying to change again is my lifestyle, wake up early, eat healthy, work out, lose weight. I got ill a couple of weeks ago and then I couldn't do all of that anymore and now I feel almost 100% again, so I want to work out and be healthy again to make myself feel 100%. Yeah I'm ready to make that change, again, haha!
Lastly I would like to say is that.. their is no age on change, yeah when you're young it's easier to make mistakes and change it because you have less responsibilities but when you're older you're still human! YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES. Want to change it? Change it! Want to change yourself, do it! Do whatever makes you happy and positive change will most likely always make you a happier person which will also make you a better person.
So yeah, life is full of change and when people used to tell me "Fauve, you've changed.." I took it in a negative way but if someone were to tell me that now I would look at them and smile and answer "Exactly." This might have been a long post but I'm proud of it and I hope it changed some of you :) and in the theme of change I'll leave you with this quote by Ghandi ; Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Love always,
Fauve♡